Busy busy life....

Hello Everyone,

  Thanks for joining me again, I just want to say how much I love my family and that we are a very busy family and always seem to be on the go.  I just wish that just once we would all slow down a little.  Stop growing old (my husband and me) and growing up(our four children) so fast.  And just enjoy life together a little more.  My husband has worked, without a day off for over a week now, I guess that's the not so good part of being a reservist, not only does he have the Navy as a part time thing he also has a full time job.  Cork is in Kingston right now and he's had to do that two days this past week and then two days next week.  He requested this weekend off but his boss didn't even notice so even though we were supposed to go to the zoo I thought we'd have to cancel.  Luckily, his boss saw the error he had made and he let him have tomorrow off.  Which is great because I didn't want to have to take the children to Toronto by myself, although I would have. 

I'm a very spontaneous person, especially when I'm lonely or grumpy, or moody, okay, so I'm always a "leave what you're doing and go have fun" kind of person.  I mean, my children are only going to be young once and I want to have as much fun as I can with them.  I guess I just contradicted myself didn't I, or did I?  You see, I like to always be doing things that I feel my children will have a lot of fun with, this is true, BUT  I like to be with them to do these things.  My husband and I are so different, sometimes I wonder how we even work.  I am all about spending as much time with my family as I can, I'm okay living pay cheque to pay cheque, I realize that most people do, have for years and will continue to long after I'm gone.  I am aware that every month the bills will come piling in and we may or may not have enough to pay them all off, that's what happens when you have only one income.  I feel badly that my husband thinks he needs to work all the time so we can live, we have gone over time and time again me going back to work but it just doesn't make sense.  If we are both working at the same time we would need a sitter and while the big ones are in school it would be a little more manageable it just doesn't make sense for me to leave my children in the care of someone that I really don't know just so I can make enough money to pay them to raise my children.  So many parents I know both work, and that's great for them, but for me!  I want to be home with my children, I want to be the one teaching the life lessons.  I would love it if my husband would slow down a little bit and enjoy life with us.  Work a regular 8-5 job and spend the rest of the time with his family.  But he is work, work, work and I'm not, and I don't feel he should be or needs to be.  Sadly he has this feeling of never being good enough, never doing good enough, never deserving what he has.  He can't just enjoy life because his mother raised him poorly.  Always looking down on him and making sure he was not good enough for greatness.  The things he wanted to do with his life were beneath him and the things she allowed him to do didn't deserve him.  Unfortunately some things I just can't control.  That's where I ask God for strength in understanding and accepting.  I love my husband and I know he's trying to do what, in his mind, is best for us, but I just wish that he would slow down and smell the flowers and the trees

With that said, I'm so excited to be going to the zoo tomorrow.  I think we need a nice family outing and that it will be very fun for everyone :)  Yeah :)

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